5. Males Pressuring Males – Lots of our male respondents stated that the strain males felt from different males was large, when and in the event that they had been to come back out and admit that they had been brazenly non secular. It’s one of many key causes many males stored their spirituality quiet and near their chest. Many stated that there’s an innate competitiveness between males that shamed them into feeling ‘lower than’ and defensive for not sharing the mainstream perfect of what it’s to be ‘masculine’. And but, many ladies (in addition to myself) stated that we discovered it extraordinarily masculine when a person can brazenly share his emotions and specific his spirituality. Males stated that they’ve problem opening up when different males are round, as they have an inclination to really feel that they’ll be judged or put down. Whereas, they felt safer opening up in entrance of girls who could be extra accepting of them. Though there have been some males, who stated ladies had been judgemental too and had concepts that non secular males might be ‘too mushy’. Of specific notice amongst our male respondents, is that they stated it was frequent for males to imagine that one other man is ‘effeminate’ when he reveals or shares his non secular aspect – seeing spirituality, as being ‘female’, reasonably than ‘masculine’.
6. Spirituality Seen as ‘Not Masculine’ – Lots of our male respondents agreed that males (and ladies) noticed spirituality as a female high quality and one which diminished their masculinity in a roundabout way. This utilized added weight to the rationale why males had been reluctant to brazenly share their views and experiences in non secular discussions, as they feared their gender would come into query. Certainly, it’s so essential that we perceive that being open to your non secular reality has nothing to do with gender (that polarises it method an excessive amount of). Spirituality is our frequent supply and isn’t gender based mostly. Sure, we will specific our spirituality by means of the lens of femininity and/or masculinity. Every of us has entry to each of those vitality flows. One shouldn’t be higher than the opposite. One shouldn’t be extra non secular. Each mix to create the entire. Certainly, the extra that we will see extra males brazenly sharing their spirituality whereas sustaining who they’re, of their integrity and authenticity, the larger permission it provides for all males to do the identical and for girls to additionally comply with swimsuit.
7. Mixing Science and Spirituality – One other nice level from our respondents was that some males view spirituality by means of the lens of science. They see science because the important hall by means of which the non secular dimension might be quantified and touched, thereby making spirituality extra accessible and acceptable to all. And thus, these males don’t are likely to share their views from a non secular ‘subjective and private’ standpoint, however extra from a structured, outcomes and proof based mostly perspective.
8. Male Religious Leaders Dominating – Lots of the respondents (women and men alike) had an identical expertise the place males that they had come throughout in non secular teams or boards would try to take over – or tackle a management position, not lengthy after becoming a member of. Specifically, this might occur with males who might have been ‘new’ to the non secular path, however felt that they ‘knew every little thing’ after solely a short while of being uncovered to non secular ideas and views. This was ‘off-putting’ to many real males (on their path for a few years) who attended non secular teams, courses or workshops with a purpose to contribute, develop and be taught. They had been truly ‘embarrassed’ by some males making an attempt to take over and dominate discussions and teachings, so quickly after becoming a member of a bunch. They stated that is what put them off from sharing an excessive amount of about their non secular path publicly, as they didn’t wish to be judged, as one in all ‘these domineering males’, who try to take over – notably when there’s a predominantly feminine viewers in attendance.
9. Males Feeling Safer to Categorical in Teams – Lots of the males who responded to my publish additionally stated that they felt safer opening up in group conditions that they had been conversant in, reasonably then doing so (maybe in a extra random method) on-line. Whereas ladies, discovered a standard bond by sharing (maybe to these they don’t even know). Males appeared to be a lot extra cautious, preferring to maintain quiet, till they felt they had been protected from judgment or recrimination. Once more, this seems to be as a result of they don’t wish to be judged or pressurised by different males and/or ladies.
10. Religious Males and Ulterior Motives – A preferred response was the variety of situations that males (and ladies) skilled the place males who had been brazenly ‘non secular’ or even perhaps ‘non secular academics’ had been abusing their positions of belief. Many stated that males they’ve come throughout in non secular courses or retreats had been solely there to meet ladies, who they discovered to be simple targets – on the lookout for their soul mates or non secular males who understood them. Certainly, I’ve seen this occur with some males that I’ve met in non secular teams and I’ve heard it taking place (rather a lot) with ladies I’ve labored with in private periods. Many ladies have begun a relationship with their male non secular instructor, which has been complicated to them. I’ve at all times thought that males ‘particularly’ will need to have nice integrity if they’re to be a non secular instructor, as a result of with so many ladies on this discipline open, trusting and on the lookout for males to narrate to on a soulful foundation, one should at all times be – above reproach.
11. Shedding Contact with Pals When Coming Out as Religious – And eventually, the opposite frequent theme amongst many male respondents was that they discovered the non secular path a lonely one, as soon as their associates or colleagues knew about their non secular path. Many felt unhappy or upset that when their associates and/or household knew extra about who they’re that they not wished to be round them. They slowly noticed individuals from their previous transfer away and lose contact. And on the flip aspect of this, some males stated that they had been truly grateful that that they had been open and sincere about who they’re and what they comply with, because it meant they not needed to play a charade and affiliate with individuals they not resonated with. So, it could go each methods.
